Until now, our perception of the occurrence of green in relation to banks has inevitably led us to the conclusion that the subject was greenbacks. Now, we learn, to our watchful pleasure, that another sort of green can mollify our usual love-hate relationship with major and minor financial institutions toward the more tranquil sentiment.
Canada In Secret Talks To Trade Quebec For Florida
Our generally friendly neighbors tothe north would like to have at least one province that’s warm during the winter. The Bush administration admits that there are certain difficulties. For instance, the President will have to explain to his brother and closet presidential wannabe, Jeb, that hes now a Canadian and can no longer run for President. Floridians may be taught French, so the switch will seem less drastic to the rest of the U. S.
A Life Of Lorenzo Da Ponte:Talent Flies; Practical Reason Walks
Among the worlds favorite operas, we find three of them with a libretto penned by Lorenzo Da Ponte and music by none other than the astonishingly delightful Viennese ear-confectioner Mozart. The list is a delight in itself: The Marriage of Figaro, Don Giovann, and Così Fan Tutte.
We learn in the new book, The Librettist of Venice, by Rodney Bolt, that Da Ponte grew so close with the unequalled Mozart both of whom, we learn, were not only talented but vain, insecure and ambitious that while writing Don Giovanni, they worked in adjoining lodges and shouted to each other through their windows.
Da Ponte even dared to contend with Mozart, who believed the text should be subservient to the music, while Da Ponte was certain that the words should be primary, in fact, that without his poetry even Mighty Mos music would be nothing.
Yet how Da Ponte tumbled from the heights. Hard as it may be to imagine, he wound up in New York, running, at one time, a grocery store on the Bowery.
U. S. May Join Opec. 1/4 Of World’s Untapped Oil Reserves In Artic.
Recent exploration of sediment deep beneath the Artic Ocean has led geologists to estimate that approximately 1/4 of the worlds untapped oil and gas reserves are located there. After evaluating the impact of the news, the U. S. may seek membership in OPEC.
President Bush, smiling and joking with King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia at a press briefing in Nome, Alaska, stated, Since it looks like weve got about as much oil off Alaska as our good friend the King here has in the …
Rural Relocation Considerations and Adjustments
Are the pressures, noise and congestion of life in the urban jungle causing you to consider goin country? Be careful what you wish for!
Movie Stars As Sources Of Wisdom
They bring themselves to our attention by committing to memory, or by reading off one kind of prompter or another, words devised by others. But once they ascend to the starry vault that hovers over us, do we expect of them anything consonant with the ability to recite the usual inanities? No, suddenly we want these storied performers to transform themselves into the wise harbingers of original insight and exemplary advice.
Iraqi Insurgents In Secret Talks; Admit May Be Fighting Wrong Enemy
During secret talks with Iraqi President Jalal Talabani, insurgents admitted they may have been fighting the wrong enemy. Upon hearing the admission, President Talibani slapped his forehead so hard he fell over backwards and was unconscious for approximately three days. Upon being resuscitated, he continued the talks. May the day soon come when enough of the knuckleheads realize the error of their war.
Field Notes on Country Linguistics
You hear many endearing phrases in the country. Translating them to English can be complex. Use these handy Field Notes on Country Linguistics to lay the ground-work of effective communication in the hinterland.
Bush Sets Aside Hawaii As Nature Preserve; Inhabitants Head For California
One thing you can say about George Bush, when the man decides to do something, his guiding principle does not appear to be moderation, whether its an ill-advised constitutional amendment, a questionable war, or an immoderate nature preserve, in this case, the state of Hawaii.
The area is home to diverse species and certainly merits protection. Unfortunately, among the species were a significant number of long-time inhabitants called Hawaiians.
Upon hearing that their entire land was declared a nature preserve, they began to pack up and head for California.
A Cialis A Day Keeps The Uncertainty Away
The maker of Cialis will apply to the FDA for approval of a once-a-day version of its ED treatment. The company maintains that a daily dose will allow the benefactor to enjoy more spontaneous delight than he can with what the manufacturer refers to as its “on demand” version.
The company maintains that side effects of the new dosage are mild and consist primarily of an inexplicable bulge in the pantaloons.
Dr. Ira D. Sharlip, professor of urology at the Univesity of California, San Francisco, stated, “For patients who are more sexually active, which generally means younger patients, whose sexual activity is more spontaneous, it will be an attractive alternative, provided the cost is not prohibitive.”
U. S. Ends Oil Dependency; Turns B. S. Into Fuel
A researcher at The Department of Energy, from which breakthrough ideas emanate on a regular basis, noticed that Americans, along with most people who ever lived, have a virtually unlimited and renewable supply of B. S. He launched an experiment and turned it into a new fuel, called Bio-Super. Its the most concentrated fuel in history, he reported, with an octane rating of 99.9.”
Rumsfeld Appoints Self Retired General; Rushes To Own Defense
Accompanied by a currently employed general, who, as the head of The Joint Chiefs Of Staff, is his usual sidekick, he stated, As The Secretary of Defense, I think I should at least be on an equal footing with a retired general, and, after careful consideration, I decided to become one.