Even with top class players, the Indian team loses and loses so here are some jokes directed at them.
Laughter: Use It to Pick Up Women
One of the best ways of picking up women is by making them laugh. Here, I supply some such funny stories to start up a conversation.
Wimbledon Comes Out Swinging; Games Go On Even As England Mourns 7/7
One of the most winning things about spirits irrepressible is that they always come out swinging. And that resilient spirit was on prideful display at Wimbledon, which respectfully went its traditional way even as the people of London marked the dastardly bombing of the tube with sad but resolute hearts.
Why Al-Qaedas Promise Of Paradise Is Fundamentally Illogical
As we listen to the two principal culprits of Al-Qaeda attempt to motivate the unsuspecting to become suicidal dupes of its ideology, we cannot help but hear that their furious rhetoric is grievously flawed. We decided we might save some lives by bringing to bear on their promise of Paradise via murder the most frightening prospect a furiously brandished lie can confront: logic.
Lets begin by reviewing the fundamental values on which their provocative illogic is based:
1. There is only one true God
2. God is great
3. The way to please God is to kill people who dont believe in Him exactly the way we do.
Well, well, lets have a look-see.
Sex Change Procedure Creates New Species, Neither All Male Nor All Female
Due to a revolutionary procedure, an entirely new species of human is now afoot on the earth neither all male nor all female. And people who have undergone the procedure seem delighted.
A mostly female member of the species confided, When you become a new species, it changes your whole outlook. Im no longer really flamingly female or, for that matter, flamingly male. It makes me really happy.
Im an early adapter, a mostly male person who had undergone the procedure told us. As a result, I often feel ahead of my time, but, wow, when I come across another person who has gone through it, we really hit it off.
Another primarily female incarnation of the remarkable development confided, When you become a third species, it changes your whole outlook. Im no longer really agressively female and certainly not rabidly male.
What exactly is this revolutionary procedure?
We spoke with Dr. Emil Changemaker, the founder of the technique, and asked, We understand youve created a new species of human being. Can you please elaborate?
Happy to oblige. First, this sex change operation requires no surgery.
It doesnt? we asked, surprised.
No, the change occurs, not between the legs, but between the ears.
Oil Exploration Update: U.S. To Play Catch-Up With Cuba
Startlingly enough, it looks as if the time will soon arrive when the USA will have to play catch-up with Cuba in oil exploration. The diminutive and destitute communist enclave that serves as Fidel Castros personal cigar plantation now realizes that it has enough oil reserves under its coastal waters to prop up its no-go economy for decades and, incapable of assembling the capacity to out the oil itself, the island nation has begun to license drilling rights to other countr…
Just Say No To Sex
(Extended spoof, presented In 10 installments of 4 pages each. This is the second installment; previous ones are included on this site, in case you miss one.)
“They all seem impressively genuine in their intentions,” Dr. Coburn replied. “As young people are prone to do, they actually want to do their part to help save the world and now they see a practical way to proceed.
We shall see. But, even if you are able to inculcate your linguistic nonsense, how long do you expect they’ll abstain before their fulminating libidos overwhelm your flimsy barricades?
Until they are comfortably and safely married. I also assume that the most diligent students will continue to maintain a commendable degree of procreative moderation in wedlock.
Please, theyd all be much safer simply using condoms.
Gossip: What People Say About It
We decided, at a readers request, to write about gossip and, along the way, to note what others have gossiped about it. What might a gossip say under the influence of a confessional potion if asked, Why do you always talk about other people? Apparently, because I have nothing much to say about myself. Or as one Amanda Lear quipped, I hate to spread rumors, but what else can you do with them?
Conversation In An Age Of Confusion
What do people talk about when they all believe different things and nobody is sure what the other person believes?
Beginners Guide To The Internet
The irony of the fact that you are here on the internet reading a beginners guide to the internet is not lost on us*, but it seemed like a nice safe subject to start with for our occasional “Beginners Guide” series.
To be honest we don’t know why the hell he wrote this stuff, the bloke is a bit odd and would do well to keep it in his head rather than letting it mushroom unchecked online. His therapist reckons it’s good for him though.
Sentencia Interruptus: The Texas Pause
I’ve actually never heard anyone talk about this, so it’s up to me to break the news to the world about this phenomenon. It can be a monumental problem, if you don’t know about it, understand it, and adhere to its rule. “It” is, and I believe I’ve aptly named it, Sentencia Interruptus, or commonly known (or soon will be) as the Texas Pause. Problems can arise in communications between husbands and wives, employers and their employees, teachers and students, and others, if one of the parties..
Nightclub For Baby Boomes Raided; Patrons Nabbed For Dropping Antacid
Acting on a tip from a twenty-something couple who entered the trendy club by accident, police raided the boomer hotspot. The owner, who was taken away in cuffs, claimed, I had no idea some of the customers were dropping that stuff. But somehow they were smuggling it past the bouncers Alka-Seltzer, Tums, Rolaids, you name it. Had I known, I would have slipped them some complimentary club soda.