In an interview prior to the concert, the composer commented on the work, which was commissioned by the Boston Pops. Its a new piece for percussion. As you know, there have been more additions to the percussion section of the orchestra than to any other one. Take, for instance, the brake drum and the ratchet, which is really just a noisemaker. My hope is that the success of my new composition will make the popcorn machine a standard ingredient of the symphony orchestra.
Theory Of Evolution Challenged By French Chef; Cites Role Of Food And Wine
While the Theory of Evolution has received numerous challenges since Darwin proposed it, none seems to have taken the scientific community with such devastating surprise as a theory recently proposed by a French Chef from Bordeaux. Andre Dumier, who operates a One Star Michelin restaurant just outside the city of Bordeaux, advanced the theory after contemplating what he considers the first requirement in the various stages of evolution the availability of food and, in time, wine.
We were fortunate in being able to arrange an exclusive Newslaugh interview.
NewsLaugh: Would you please explain your theory?
Dumier: But, of course, monsieur. The great flaw in Darwins Theory is that he puts Natural Selection before the existence of food to select.
NewsLaugh: Say, thats interesting. Can you elaborate?
Dumier: It is my pleasure to do so. To me his Theory of Evolution does not make a primary place for the existence of food. Let me explain. Do you think the fish evolved in the ocean before there was plankton for them to dine on? Of course, not. They would have starved! And, if they could not survive, how could you have Survival of the Fittest?
NewsLaugh: Do you have another theory to propose?
Dumier: Oui, monsieur. Survival of the Fullest.
Proof Tax Laws Faulty: 9 Out Of 10 Americans Set To Declare Bankruptcy
As the distribution of wealth in America becomes increasingly skewed toward the wealthiest 7% or so of the population, where we find more and more resplendently bedecked billionaires, the income of the other 93% of the populace continues to go the way of the wealthiest. The growing destitution of this significant segment of the population has now become so acute that the majority of Americans are all set to declare bankruptcy.
Met Meets Greece’s Request; Returns Ancient Toilet Seats
The Metropolitan Museum of Art, having recently agreed to return one of the finest vases in its collection from the Classical Age of Ancient Greece, has also consented to return the collected toilet seats from the ancient Cretan port city of Ephesus. The decision has come as a welcome relief to the Greek tourist board, whose embarrassed guides annually answer the same question that tourists ask approximately a thousand times a day. The innocent travelers behold the long cement benches with curious holes that grace an area of their walking tour and ask what they were for.
Infant Author Accused Of Plaigarism; Copied Sounds In Nursery
A newborn infant, who showed unusual promise in the hospital nursery in the modulation of her of coos and cries and was immediately swept from her mothers arms to Harvard University, has now been disgraced as a mere plagiarist. It seems that the infant, commissioned to write an original succession of coos and cries by a wily book packager, had listened to the coos and cries of her fellow newborns during her brief stay at the hospital and, intentionally or not, had copied them.
Enron Trial Goes To Jury; Ken Lay Doesn’t Notice
Well, to tell you the truth, Mr. Lay said, I hardly ever notice anything. I mean, I didnt notice anything was wrong when Enrons finances were going up in flames. So its only understandable that I wouldnt notice a little thing like the jury going off to deliberate how much time Ill spend in jail.
Bush And Blair Admit Mistakes In Iraq; Vow To Continue
Meeting in Washington, Prime Minister Tony Blair and President Bush took to the podium to admit that everything in Iraq has not unfolded as they had hoped but the President insisted, We’ve learned from our mistakes, and, if the past is any indication, we will continue to make them.”
Prime Minister Blair added, And you can be absolutely certain that we will continue to learn from them.
Audit Report on Katrina Debit Cards; Some Recipients Swam In Champagne
A federal audit on the spending proclivities of people who were issued debit cards by FEMA during the Katrina disaster indicates that some of them were swimming in champagne and good stuff, too.
Among the survival rations that were purchased, we find a $200 bottle of champagne, used as a life-saving device at the hurricane shelter known as Hooters. The establishment, upon hearing of the purchase, has nobly agreed to refund the amount to FEMA.
Other items that emergency cards were used to purchase are the following:
A flotation device of questionable effect, called diamond jewelry.
The Michelangelo Code; Or How To Let The Da Vinci Code Pass On By
While the usual expectation is that we are simple-minded enough to be caught up in the mass-media Tsunami created by The Da Vinci Code, now a movie starring Tom Hanks, so that we might all the better assist Hollywood in carting off its share of megabucks from this transient tempest for historical tots, let us explore how we might, instead, observe the refitted ancient frigate pass by on times wide and eternal river, as we lounge on the bank in supine placidity, or, as a generous gesture, consent to turn our eyes toward the flick just for the faux tension of it all.
Polar Bears Drowning; Washington Sends Lifejackets
Eskimos are being encouraged to head out onto the ice to save them. But, a tribe member asked, Where are the free life jackets that fit us?
Laughter Is Best Medicine – Funny Videos Can Help Restore Laughter
Laughter is the best medicine. Funny videos can help restore your ability to smile and laugh.Did something odd and dreadful happened to day to make you sad? Look at the brighter side of things and smile. You will find the burdens lighter. Laugh and the whole world will laugh with you.
Clutterbugs
“This house is so cluttered I can’t find anything,” said my husband. I looked around, and realized that most of the clutter was his, on that particular day, anyway. He seemed to be oblivious to that fact. He’s not only a closet packrat, he builds guitars. He rebuilds guitars- guitars that don’t quite meet his specifications when he buys them. Our living room is a guitar parts morgue. We could open up a store. They ought to make tables that have a slight angle…